only just begun

Holy meatball sandwiches, you guys. The past (nearly) two weeks have been a nonstop whirlwind of excitement, ambition, surprise, and more gratitude than my heart can contain. I've said before that writing with the goal of being published (but not yet being published) can feel very isolating at times and it's so true. If you're lucky, you have a small, but dedicated group of loved ones and beta readers cheering you on, but at the end of the day, it's a lot of work with very limited feedback. You can feel like you're on the right track, but when you're faced with rejection after rejection, it starts to wear you down. You start to wonder if the track ever actually leads anywhere.

The decision to self-publish IT FALLS APART wasn't an easy one for me to make, and I still find myself wondering if I've taken a huge misstep, but I'm starting to worry less about that because apparently, people are reading it, and as far as I can tell, they're liking it. And with over 3.5k views and hundreds of subscribers (people who WANT to be notified when a new chapter comes out so they can keep reading), this is the first time since I signed with my extremely awesome agent years ago that I've felt like I've accomplished a little more of what I set out to do. Obviously, this isn't it as in goal accomplished. I still want an editor to fall in love with my writing, my books, to take a chance on me the way I've decided to take a chance on myself. But...people are reading one of my books. And based on the numbers, it's no longer just friends and family. It's strangers. It's people who aren't only reading because they know me. It's people who seem to be enjoying my characters, my voice, this story I hope both touches and entertains. It's an incredible thing. And it's far from over.

If you've been reading IT FALLS APART, even if you just checked it out and haven't continued, THANK YOU. From the very bottom of my heart. Your support means so much, I can't possibly express it. Working in publishing, I know writing novels is far from a get-rich-quick scheme. Most writers don't make enough to quit their day job. Many never will. That's not why they write. That's not why *I* write. I write because there are stories in my heart. It's full of characters, jokes, arguments, heartache, confusion, passion, and beauty. I write because I want to put that out in the world. I write because I want to share it with people who might read it and say, "Yes, this. I can relate to this." That's why reviews often mean more to authors than sales. Writers don't seek fame and fortune. They seek voices who've read us and feel compelled to say, "Yes. Yes to all of this." 

I'm hoping to have more concrete details to share with you all soon regarding the e-book release of IT FALLS APART. As we get closer to that date (it will be in late June), I can promise an exciting new cover reveal, more fun teasers and excerpts (for those who haven't had a chance to read on Radish--or just need a little reminder of why they probably want to own the e-book too), more behind-the-scenes tidbits about my process in writing the book (storyboards and inspiration), and maybe even a giveaway or two :) Self-publishing this book has been a very big deal for me, and I want to find ways to share that with you guys. 

For now, I'll leave you with a little tidbit about where the title, IT FALLS APART, comes from:

It's a phrase that felt right the first time it popped into my head, very early on in the writing process. Not "She Falls Apart" or "Falling Apart", but "It Falls Apart". It had to be "it" because it's more than just this girl navigating this messy, forbidden romance. It's Harper's entire young adult life. Her future plans, her home life with Nan, her understanding of the past, her friendship with Chloe. These are all things she's carefully crafted and cared for--until an unexpected and earthshattering attraction to a boy sweeps everything out from under her feet. But there's more to the phrase than that. There's a reason it popped into my head in the first place. There's a Canadian rock band called Odds who released a song back in 1993 called--you guessed it--IT FALLS APART. It's a catchy tune, a bit of an earworm, and it came out at a time when my own young adult heart was beating to a profoundly memorable soundtrack. Long story short, it's one of many songs that made an impression and the lyrics are kinda perfect, even if the video is so 1993 it hurts ;)