You guys. My eyes are burning. And not in a sexy, burning love kind of way. This is so completely not cool. We need to discuss the events of this week's episode... Spencer, seriously, stick to Toby, okay?
- I know business is business, but Ashley, maybe don't let psycho Sara into the spa. She helped terrorize your daughter and her friends. And I'm starting to think that girl might be a creepy space robot. Like a cylon. Yes, that's definitely it. She's a cylon.
- Does Aria's new dude know she was more than just Fitz's student? He doesn't seem to find their relationship worth scrutinizing.
- I'm not sure I buy Lucas as Richie Rich. Sure, he's smart enough, but where's the business savvy? And if he went onto such great success post high school, wouldn't Hanna know about it? Finally, I hope Lucas just feels like he owes a debt to Hanna for his former shadiness and isn't still in love with her, cause dude, she was never into you. It's time to move on.
- So apparently, Ezra is way more disturbed than we thought. I still think he's not murdery disturbed, but he's clearly in need of help. What's rock bottom going to look like?
- The cat's kind of out of the bag with Emily. Or rather, multiple cats are out of multiple bags with her lie about school, and the reason she's injecting herself in the bathroom. I still think there's more to it than that. I mean, there has to be, right? And who doesn't close the bathroom door when they're doing something sketchy they want nobody to see? Have you really learned nothing all these years, Emily? Maybe you shouldn't have dropped out of college.
- Okay, Hanna is so not alright with this Spencer/Hot Caleb thing. I mean who can blame her? But of course she can't say anything. She's engaged. Saying something would throw her life into chaos. I will welcome that chaos when it finally does arrive. This Spaleb hookup is just ick. (Bonus points to Melissa for her comment about Spencer shopping from other people's carts)
- Is Hanna wearing a bathrobe and eating orange juice out of a can? See what your confession has done to her, Spencer? Hanna, you work in fashion. This is not acceptable.
- #scaryezra Whoa. Do not get on this guy's bad side. Am I the only one who wants to see him legit fly off the handle? No more red herrings. Let's see Ezra go dark. Really dark.
- Hot Caleb and Spencer "consummate" their "whatever it is". I don't even want to discuss it. Nor do I want to know how far that kiss went. Was it relatively hot? Of course it was. It's Hot Caleb for goodness sake. He can't help but be hot! But this pairing is wrong wrong wrong. I can't wait to see it fall apart. Man, what is Toby going to say? You guys were bros!
- A is back. Sort of. Somebody is back in A's layer and there's definitely trouble a-brewin. Who is this mystery lurker unpacking all of A's old hoodies and googling uniforms. And what kind of uniforms are we talking here? Answers are coming... probably. Maybe. Okay, probably not. That's not how this show works. But I know I'm excited about next week, if only to see the fallout from Spaleb's no good, very bad decision to make out. Until then!