pretty little recap: still not better and definitely up to something!

Huzzah PLLers! Another new episode without having to wait months in between! I'd say it feels like Christmas morning if the real Christmas wasn't still so fresh in my memory... Regardless, there's much to discuss so let's see what lovely gifts The Powers That Lie have bestowed upon us...

3.15 Mona-Mania
Mona's train of crazy has no breaks! Let's see who she's carelessly running over this week! As always, please ignore the typos (and blame my netbook keyboard, not me).

Previously on PLL: Crazy Mona! Creeper Toby! Dead Garrett! Alison's secrets! So much DRAMA!

Fig.1. Example of someone who is up to something!
Photo credit: ABC Family

Aria is watching one of those above the fireplace TVs. They look great when they're off, but aren't they a little too high up on the wall? This probably isn't important... I should be paying attention to Mr. Aria being TOTALLY CREEPY! Watch out, Aria. He may or may not kill girls your age.

The non-Aria liars are doing a little more digging in the scary school basement. Aaaaannndd there's a terrifying hooded guy (PROBABLY Creeper Toby) who appears from the shadows and books it. Creep-o janitor is gone, Hood-o is gone and A had left yet another message for our liars, telling them to move it along.

Ah, the bike accident victim from last week. I'd semi-forgotten about that. Apparently he was up against Spencer for.. something.. captain of something? Maybe Creeper Toby sabotage? He's an A-teamer, but he also, in addition to that, but separate from that, actually does love Spencer?

Crazy Mona is claiming Creep-o janitor was stalking her. It's a pretty convincing story. We should probably believe her. Oh right, the whole crazy thing... and my cat just climbed onto my laptop. She doesn't seem to understand live-blogging.

Lucas hair is looking pouffy again, but at least it's more of a styled pout and not the voluminous pouf from last week. Anyone else starting to get the feeling that Lucas is just a nice guy who got in too deep with the wrong people? Or is he just a really good liar? He just looks too innocent...

Ah, Paige. Where've ya been? Do you even serve a purpose anymore? Should we still suspect you of doing A-teamish things? I want to think she's just a good girlfriend for Emily, but seriously, why are we pretending she didn't try to drown Emily that one time??

Aria is walking a dangerous line bringing up Mr. Aria stuff with her mom. She needs to be more subtle and seem less suspicious. I'm not surprised Aria hasn't mastered this skill. Aria doesn't do subtle. That said, tonight's outfit hasn't burned through my eyeballs yet.

Uh oh. Crazy Mona is treading into Spencer's territory. This would be a bad situation if I didn't love competitive Spencer. Heh. Hasting's face. Spencer is all about the mental spankings. It's one of the many reasons she's awesome.

So I'm confused. At this point, are the liars assuming Crazy Mona is still A any of the time? All of the time? None of the time? I know they know A is more than just Crazy Mona at work, but does that mean they no longer attribute A messages to her at all?

Where's Hot Caleb? I miss him.

It's hard to believe anything Crazy Mona says. You know, because of the crazy. But that's probably why she's telling the truth. Not curve-ball-y enough for PLL.

Aria's black dress might be cute if she wasn't wearing that belt. Another belt would even be fine, but that one? Ugh. She totally Aria'd it.

Mr. Aria is totally creepy now. The way he lurks. Was he always creepy? No, this is definitely new. It's like Aria's suspicious questions (dammit Aria! Be more inconspicuous for once!) switched on some sort of evil mode in him. Suddenly he's sleeping with a knife beside the bed and sits in a dark room staring at the wall, only for his head to swivel around backwards when Aria comes home from school... Ah! That'd better not happen!

Time for a Creeper Toby scene! Ah, the massage, it's once of Creeper Toby's many tactics for easing Spencer into a lazy comfort zone where she doesn't question whether or not he's been acting extra stab-y lately. Suspicious phone call. Suspicious looks. Creeper Toby is definitely going to slip up and show Spencer his nutso side one of these days. It's just bubbling beneath the surface, waiting to Creepy-explode.

Not sure if I'm right about Lucas or not. Again, he might be lying. but it does seem like he's just in too deep. Which is exactly why he's the mastermind. He has to be. HAS TO BE. Even if it's never proven, I'll always believe it at this point.

Oh Aria. Change your belt. Or just remove it. It's hard to concentrate on creepy Mr. Aria's ever-increasing psychopathic behavior when your belt is all up in my grill.

Seriously, where's Hot Caleb? Why is Hanna not making out with him?

Paige appears to be having some sort of panic attack. Apparently the events of Halloween seriously messed her up. Which seems weird. You'd think the Nate thing would have messed her up more.

Spencer vs. Mona. It's showtime! I still don't really know what they're competing for. Some sort of...history club? Knowledge club? Trivia club? I wasn't paying attention, okay? I just know that Spencer wins at life and therefore must win at this.

WHAT ARE THE BOTTOM 3/4 OF ARIA'S JACKET? Aria, you are making that outfit worse, not better!

Meredith is actually being helpful? And snoopy? (as in, sneaky, not the dog) More info is revealed... and Mr. Aria is not looking any better. I think Meredith has her own suspicions, but if that's true, why is she with Mr. Aria again?

For someone who is apparently now afraid of life, I wouldn't think walking around in the dark woods is something Paige would wanna do... and now the tire is slashed. She should know better. Emily should too. And yet, she's chasing after the scary hooded guy in the woods. WHO IS CREEPER TOBY! It's weird, it sort of feels like, "No worries, ladies, it's just Creeper Toby!" but wait, Creeper Toby is NOT a safe guy. All bets are off! Creeper Toby might have listed "murder" as one of his extra-curricular activities on his college apps for all we know!

Spencer is going for the kill. Or the Hastings-spank. Or rather, she was. No, Spencer! Don't choke! SPENCER NO!

I hope they do something insane with Mr. Aria because I don't think I can ever go back to seeing him as just a normal show-dad.

Well, since the Hastings-spank didn't fly, it's time for the Hanna-spank. Speaking of Hanna, where's Handma tonight? And WHERE'S HOT CALEB? I am not well pleased, PLL. I love your crazy crazy secrets, but I need Hot Caleb! Next week you owe us a Hanna-spank, involving Hot Caleb. And yes, I did mean for that to sound dirty.

The A team is going to come for Hanna. Hot Caleb had better have her back. And he's better not be on the A team. We've discussed this, PLL. That's not allowed!

Something about Emily putting Paige to bed on her floor is too parental, even with the kiss.

Who ever thought we'd end up with a Meredith-Aria bond. Maybe Meredith can take her shopping and buy her some less disastrous outfits...

Crazy Mona and Mr. Aria! What's that all about? And more creepy doll masks! Not okay, PLL! Not at all! Sometimes the stuff the hooded A-teamers do is so random and weird, it makes me wonder if they get handed A-ssignments (get it, A team? A-ssignments?) from the head A and are like, "Oh man! You want me to bury a doll mask in the woods? Why can't <insert name of other A-teamer> do that? I'm exhausted from all the lurking in basements and randomly slashing people's tires for no reason!"

Well, that's it for this week! A whole episode with no Hot Caleb. There is a Hot-Caleb-shaped hole in my heart and I'm going to need extra Haleb scenes next week if I ever hope to fill it :(

But until then, I plan on returning with a Friday5 on Friday (knock on wood) so please come back for that, and with any luck, I'll be in good shape to return with a regular post on Monday. Things are slowly settling into a groove. More on that later :)