pretty little recap: if you didn't see it, it didn't happen

A bit of blog business before we get started. The PLR is late this week because of several reasons that I won't get into in detail, but let's just say it involves a teething baby and a PVR that's recording a lot more than it's playing at the moment... So there's that.
And then there's this: March is traditionally a time when a lot of people pack their bags and go on vacation. They do it because it's been a long stretch since Christmas vacation. They do it because winter sucks. Snow sucks. Lousy Smarch weather sucks (10 points to you for getting the reference).
Sadly, I'm not in a position to go on any sort of real vacation at the moment (where real = beach + drinks + actual restful sleep), but I can take a blog vacation. And that's exactly what I'm going to do for a few weeks. And yeah, I say that, but there's a really good chance I'll still do a Pretty Little Recap for next week's episode because the season is winding down and who am I kidding? I can't take a vacation from PLL! So, that's the blog business! And since we're on the topic of PLL, let's get rolling...

3.21 Out of Sight, Out of Mind
Previously on PLL: We're at that point in the season where way too much crazy shiz has hit the crazy fan to cover properly in a previously on segment. Also, Spencer is losing it.

Funeral flowers = not as romantic as you'd think. Photo credit: ABC Family
Spencer is finally ready to reveal the major Creeper Toby's nose sized secret she's been keeping. About time, Spence. Aria and Emily look appropriately shocked. Kinda. I half expected one of them to faint. Like Aria. Aria should have fainted.

Meanwhile Hanna and her mom are busy dealing with the fallout from that whole attempted/possibly actual murder thing. Man that'll sour an evening! I guess it's time for these two to be on edge for... well, forever, I guess.

Spencer is broken over having to reveal her Creeper Toby secret. So way to rub it in, Aria. Way to handle the news in the worst way possible. Or maybe that's Emily's job. I mean, it makes sense that Emily doesn't want to believe it since she and Creeper T were good friends, but surely she doesn't think she was more of a special snowflake than Spencer, right? Poor Spencer is only getting crazier. I thought finally spilling the creeper beans would be a weight off her shoulders but it would seem it's only brought a new level of reality and pain.

Awkward Ezra's spawn meet and greet! Oh Aria your insane wardrobe is going to give that kid nightmares. Also somebody needs to cut that kid's hair.

Aw man we don't get to see Hanna find out? She was my last shot at seeing one of them faint over the news.

Way to keep everything under wraps, Hanna. As I've said before, acting suspicious is the best way to keep a secret in Rosewood. Actually, that might be true. Since everyone there acts suspicious, it's kinda the new normal. Poor Emily. She may be in even more denial than Spencer was.

More Aria-Ezra's spawn drama. Is this going to be one of those episodes? This storyline is so disjointed from everything I care about in this show. Next!

Ah last week's funeral wreath arrives. So tasteful and yet so threatening. Looks like A is somehow on to Spencer's info spill. Looks like things are about to get murder-y. Again. Must be an odd-numbered episode :)

I know Emily is in denial and Spencer is losing her mind but Emily really does need to just trust her friend and back off. Spencer ambushes Crazy Mona at the coffee house. Oh crazy Mona. You can't deny something and then make threats that directly contradict that denial. It's such a waste of everyone's time.

Creeper Toby's friend is super suspicious! He must be a Rosewood native. Oooh, he's totally on the A team. Or maybe this is just the point in the season where I start to suspect everyone.

Ah!! Wilden is a ghost!! Run Ashley! Ruuuunnnn!!

Spencer is probably right about the EM in the sympathy sash--but by giving it to Emily she's probably playing right into A's hands! The sash is probably a bomb or something! Run Emily! Ruuuuuuunnnnnn!! But don't take the sash with you!

Is this the same day as earlier? Is this timeline wonky? What point in the day is it? Why isn't anyone in school? What's going on?? Why is Aria still wearing those awful green pants??? IS IT THE WEEKEND???? WHERE'S HOT CALEB??????

Oh Hanna stop acting so suspicious! Seriously you might as well be wearing a tee that says, "Attempted murder. Ask me how!"

Emily at the police station. That convenient plotline is just the gift that keeps on giving...

Uh oh. Aria killed Ezra's spawn. Maybe. Probably not. But that would be way more interesting.

Emily is such a savvy hacker. First the costume shop's computer and now the police database. Oh except that her phone distracts her from bothering to look at the photo she's searching for. Yeah okay it's a text from Creeper Toby but maybe put your phone on the back burner while you're doing time-sensitive snooping! Babytown frolics!

"He cut his chin. That's what happens when you're a boy." <------What????? Ok seriously what is going on in this episode? I don't even care about this storyline, but what is Ezra talking about? Is cutting your chin some sort of male right of passage I've never heard of?

Okay, I'll fess up. The police car in the garage TOTALLY freaked me out. But did Hanna really need to watch the full video and see the actual hit and run to realize what it was? "Hey this is a great video... WAIT A MINUTE!"

Aww, Aria isn't immediate family. Always the underage girlfriend, never the baby-momma, huh Aria?

Spencer screaming and chasing Mona through the trees is chilling. I don't think I can believe that Toby's dead. I think they just need Spencer to believe that. Dead body with no facial reveal? DIDN'T HAPPEN.

This Aria-Ezra drama needs to stop. The finale is just around the corner and I don't want precious twisty minutes to be devoted to this melodrama.

Ah! The possible ghost in the red coat! These girls are so ballsy. I'd totally run screaming in the other direction if I encountered half the stuff that they did.

So....Toby's coworker is basically confirming the ghost. And Ah! How does he know Emily's name?? That's beyond creepy. Creeper Co-Wo!

This is the longest day ever. And Emily seriously needs to stop going off on her own like this. Didn't she just lecture Paige about how dangerous that is only last week?

Okay how did Hanna and Aria get the cop car to the lake? And where's Hot Caleb? If I needed to (I assume) push a cop car to a lake and then sink it, I'd definitely enlist him for the deed. Then there could be hot makeouts afterward.
But this? This makes no sense.
"So Hanna, which if your pretty little friends are you going to get to help you dispose of this heavy vehicle?"
"The littlest one, obviously."
This has bad idea written all over it. Holy crap the flashing light on that car is going to give me a heart attack! PLL, you nail the creepy atmospheric stuff every time!

Sounds like Ashley's in denial. She and Emily should attend a workshop together called, Stop lying to yourself.

Oh Spencer. Yeah. This is rock bottom. If Creeper Toby isn't really dead, Spencer should kill him for putting her through this.

I don't know what to think. I still don't think Toby is dead but I don't know if he's faking his death or someone else is. I hope somebody thinks to check the mental hospital for Spencer.

Uh oh. Hook line and cop hat. I don't think fishing up a hat which could have easily blown into the water would lead me to the conclusion that there's a cop car at the bottom of the lake. But I'm sure by next week someone will have reeled in the incriminating video! Or--god forbid--that horrible horrible flashing light!

Shudder. Until next week!