pretty little recap: let's all be sad together

Let me set the stage for tonight's Pretty Little Recap... I've been sick on and off for the past two weeks. After a very healthy year on mat leave, I knew I'd get hit hard when a) I returned to the germy land of public interaction and b) Emmeline started daycare. And sure enough, yeah, we both got hit. She had it bad for about 12 hours and then was fine. I've been hacking and sneezing for weeks, seemingly unending.

Normally, I'm a big milk drinker, so when I get sick, I miss milk even though I don't want it. And then I know I'm on the mend when I suddenly start craving it again. And I do mean craving. Because I haven't been drinking it, it's like my body goes into a depleted state that tells my brain to obtain as much milk as possible as soon as possible. So that's the stage I was at tonight. I drank five glasses of milk during my viewing of this episode. And it was delicious..... Okay, that was really unrelated and unnecessary, but I feel like you need to understand that any and all weird comments are 100% due to the milk coma... This should be fun!
3.16 Misery Loves Company
Previously on PLL: The parents on this show are way crazier than the teenagers! Like, for reals. CPS should probably get involved in this shiz...
Uh Oh. Did Aria's closet vomit all over this bed? Photo credit: ABC Family
The liars are acting all dumpy, especially Aria. I'm surprised feverish, deathbed-y Aria isn't wearing something completely insane. Missed opportunity, wardrobe department. This was your chance to get away with putting Aria in a clown costume. Who am I kidding, they're probably saving that for Prom...

Meanwhile, Creeper Toby and Crazy Mona are speaking in monotone voices as they plot their next move... their next VERY AMBIGUOUS move. Come on guys, give us a little something... You're in safe company--can't you speak openly with each other about this crap?

Oh right, Creeper Toby and Emily were friends at one point. What is with Creeper Toby and the monotone? Did he have a lobotomy or something? Maybe he's still tired from all the random A team assignments he's been running lately. Creeper Toby, you need to sleep. Didn't you ever see that episode of Clone High?

Oooh, Emily and Spencer are up to something....

HOT CALEB! Thank goodness you're back, boy. Don't ever leave ever again! Hot Caleb is being all protective and secretive! I can't bring myself to be suspicious of Hot Caleb. He's not allowed to be bad! Especially when he's so sweet to our dear Hanna.

Is Creeper Toby shirtless in every episode now? Is anybody keeping track? I'm sure there are people out there who dig it, but I can't see the bod past the creeper.

"I hope he likes surprises..." Don't worry, Spencer's Mom. I have it on good authority that Creeper Toby loves the CRAP out of surprises.

If I were Aria, I so wouldn't let Meredith near me when I'm off my game. Bitch is up to something.

Yay Emily and Paige. Oh wait. I don't care. I try to, guys. I really do. Maybe I just miss Maya. Ha ha. Hanna saves the day with her awkward jokes. Love you, Hann.

I'm not keen on Hanna having Emily trail Hot Caleb. I don't want this to turn into a whole "you don't trust me" thing when he inevitably finds out. Then again, he kinda brought this whole thing on by having that mysterious phone call. Hot Caleb, you need to focus on being hot and avoid giving Hanna any reasons to be suspicious!

Since we have to have the whole Emily tailing Hot Caleb plotline, can it at least turn into a comedy of errors? Pretty please? Maybe Emily knocks over a whole display of soup cans at the grocery store?

Was that a fake Radley ID amidst Creeper Toby's things? Ooooh man. He's so gonna get caught soon and it's gonna be awesome!

What is with the mannequins PLL? What is with the dolls and the mannequins and the disturbing imagery? And seriously, I'm starting to question whether or not the A team is getting enough "me time". They seem to carry pretty heavy schedules full of random (and let's face it, often pointless) acts of terrorizing our liars. I hope they get to put in for vacation sometimes.

The Hot Caleb tail continues! He's looking all hot and angsty. Wonder what he's up to.... Paige? Okay, now I'm confused. Ah, it's like a significant others club. I might be able to get behind this. As long as nothing bad happens to Hot Caleb. Paige? Meh....

Interesting that Emily is suggesting an A army instead of just Crazy Mona and "her minion". First it was A, then it was the A team, now... the A army? Things are escalating awfully quickly.

Apparently, Aria plans to be sick and sleepy for this whole episode. And I never thought I'd say this, since they're the cardboard couple and all, but where's Ezra?

Oh good. Another doll. And... Alison? Whoa, what was in that tea Meredith gave Aria? Something not good. And Aria's hallucination is warning her about it? The hallucination from the tea? This just got really circular. Was Aria sleeping with the teapot and cup on her bed? Oh Aria, you don't know how to do anything, do you? Well, I guess you know how to get yourself locked in your own room...


And we're back. Meredith is getting ragey at the pharmacy. That's so like her. Crazy woman demands extra drugs, is refused, then erratically tries to buy allergy pills in bulk. Yeah, that pharmacist is definitely doing the right thing by ringing her up and not kicking her out of the store. Then again, it's Aria so....

Creeper Toby! Being scary! Spencer, get with it! You're such a smart girl, you can't keep falling for his creeper act! I have to admit, his hair is looking pretty decent. If it weren't for his creepy ways and his wonky face...nah.

Meredith is way off the deep end now. She may not be an A teamer, but she's definitely scary. I'm going out on a limb here, but I think Mr. Aria should dump her. Even if she did put Aria down with one shot. Sure, Aria's small, but she's feisty! That takes skill, yo!

Thunderstorms are never a good sign on this show. They pretty much mean somebody's gonna get their murder on.

Power outage is even worse. Get out, Hanna and Emily! Save yourselves! Aria's not worth it! Ah! Meredith! GET OUT GET OUT GET OUT! She's acting creepy and unusual! And why would Aria have gone to the basement for flash lights when the power only JUST went out?

Man, this show so gets to me. I can't take it! I have a strong suspicious that all this Meredith stuff is separate from the A stuff, but it's still freaking me out!

PVR, how are there still 15 mins left in this show?? This is insane!

Okay, I totally wanna see Hanna open a can of whoop ass on Meredith. Regardless of whether or not Mr. Aria is in on the plan (he's so not), I think the girls should start screaming ASAP. Uh oh. Mr. Aria looks disturbingly calm after what Meredith just told him. Psycho calm. But I think it's a mislead. He's her dad! Looks like they're clearing this whole thing up... or are they? Yeah, it looks like they are. I mean, really, who knows, but for now, I guess Mr. Aria is.... wait, what's up with Melissa? Hmmm....

AHHHH! Creeper Toby! Spencer! The key! Again, I have a feeling this is a mislead. She's going to think he's looking for it for some other reason. And he'll explain his A uniform somehow... stupid commercials! Oh right, PVR...

Ah! Not a mislead! This is really going down! What's going to happen now? Spencer knows about Creeper Toby! And that means Creeper Toby is free to let his true creeper out! Things are going to get crazy for reals!

Meredith gone already? That's...convenient. Mr. Aria's story about Alison makes sense. Besides, we can wrap that suspicion up now that Creeper Toby is on the loose! Out of the way, Mr. Aria! It's time to get serious! Homestretch, baby!

Oh Spencer. I feel terrible for her. She wants so desperately to believe that Creeper Toby isn't a creeper, but if he wasn't, why would he just disappear the way he did? Why wouldn't he stay and explain? Because he's EVIL, Spencer. PURE EVIL!

And there's Crazy Mona, enjoying the fruits of Spencer's foolish labour. Poor Spence.

And I guess I don't get a preview because Much Music (the channel I watch PLL on here in Canada) decided to advertise something other than next week's episode. What the deuce, Much Music?? Not cool. Like, Creeper Toby level of not cool.